Do Ye Know Ken More?

It seems I have been spending a little bit too much time with Ninjasaurus Rex over the past week. I don't think there was a day where we didn't have a liquid lunch, shopping trip or general get together over World War One terrain. It all culminated on Thursday with lunch together and then a trip to the cinema. In very different circumstances it would have been considered a lovely romantic day. However he is a 36 year old man and I am a 35 year old man and I find the idea quite nauseating. It's not because I'm a homophobe, cos I'm not, but you haven't seen what he looks like... I haven't seen him since Friday afternoon since I think his wife, Sarah, was getting suspicious and made him stay in for the weekend. The film we went to see on Thursday was The Hurt Locker. It comes very well recommenced and it certainly deserves its Oscar for best film. Which is also great because it was up against Avatar, so the win was a two fingers up to that steaming pile of shit and the Directer James Cameron as The Hurt Locker was directed by his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow.

Boom! Boom! Shake the room!

I went out last night with Mainy, Linzi and Joolia to celebrate Joolia's birthday. T'was a good night and I bumped into many people I haven't seen for a while. I got hideously drunk and ended up in Renoirs... Again. It's Mainy and Linzi's influence I tell thi. I awoke this morning with the fear that the house had been broken into at some point last night. Well that would be the only explanation as to why it felt like a tramp had shat in my mouth...

With only hazy memories of last night, this is how it easily could have ended. I'm not quite sure...

OK with not much else to tell you, I'll give out a few plugs to some blogs that I'm reading at the moment. First off is Logan Josh's seminal work on the fractious nature of humanity. That is when he's not writing boorish and drunk posts. Al Sithee is still harping on about Iceland. Please God will it ever end? Tarquin Sheen's blog is always very good once you get through the usual racist rhetoric. Owen updates about once a week, it seems to be less nowadays since he got himself a bird, but it's rightly amusing when he does. Hildemaus NEVER UPDATES, EVER! And neither does Mithraea. Ashley's updates are fairly regular and his stories are good, as are his descriptions of sleeping rough in the woods... And finally, this is not a blog but I haven't mentioned it before, here is the New Pylon Cafe. Run by the evil mastermind Darren Rea, it is a revamp of the much loved and much missed original Pylon Cafe. The original site's forum has now been turned into a Book by Danny Salter of which there are about six million different editions.

Abattoir

I have been a bit late with new blogs of late as I stupidly kicked water over my computer and it now refuses to work. The little cunt. As I decide what to do with it I have limited assess to computers so I will try my best to keep this updated. Anyhow, it's been a pretty quiet week since the last posting. Not only has my computer lost the will to live but the Dole have yet to access my claim and I am still waiting for the money they owe me from a month ago. I also need them to sort out my claim asap so I can enroll on a college course, as I get it for free when signing on. I may as well take everything they have.

'Hi is that the Toshiba help line, yeah, I've dropped a bit of water on my computer, is there anything you can do to help?'

Yesterday I went to see Avatar. It is the biggest pile of crap my eyes have rested on for a long time. It is three hours too long. It is wooden, cliched, hackneyed, boring and lacks any real depth. Even the 3D gets boring after half an hour. I'm not going to dwell on this as there is a great review of the film HERE. But what I did notice was that James Cameron used the same basic designs for the vehicles as he did in Aliens, the Marine's drop ships were very similar and there is a walker very similar to the Cargo-Loaders in Aliens. Obviously Cameron has a hard-on for these vehicles and now has the technology to play with to make them seem more realistic. What did annoy me though, was the fact that the Marines in Avatar are using Helicopters and machine guns. This film is set about 150 years in the future. This is the same as the British Army of today going into Iraq armed with muskets and smooth bore cannons.

Operation Desert Storm kicked off in grand style!

Whilst on the subject of similarities between Aliens and Avatar, I noticed several others. Both films centre on a repressed race under siege and fighting a territorial battle for survival. Except in Aliens they spit acid. Both films have the Marines attacking the alien race, but in Aliens the Marines are 'good' in Avatar the Marines are 'bad'. Basically the message here breaks down to in the 1980's war=good, in 2010 war=bad. This is how simplistic and banal the 'message' behind Avatar is. And it is forced on you like sledgehammer blows. It also purports to have an ecological message behind it all (which is in itself is bullshit as Cameron spent the GNP of a small African Nation making this film, money which would have been better spent on combating CO2 emissions...), as does Aliens, however. What it the ecological message in Aliens? 'Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.' Which to be honest, is what I would have done with the Navi. I felt no compassion for them whilst watching Avatar. My loyalties sat with the humans, why would I be compassionate about a race of aliens of which I knew nothing? They are sitting on a rich seam of unobtainium (please...........), get them shifted off it and mine the fuck out of their planet. Who cares? I would have felt far more sympathy had the film been based around a tribe of Masai, fighting against an overwhelming presence. Why, because the Masai are human and the Navi are lanky blue skinned freaks. Having said all that, I shouldn't have been surprised as this was a film from the man who brought you Titanic...

Navi? Problem solved...