Every Little Helps...
The customers (or drones, if you prefer) will be brought to the site of the supermarket (now renamed food factory) on special monorail transport, each carriage of which will have separate compartments big enough to house one drone. From the moment they step onto the monorail a door will close behind them, therefore trapping them until released by the robot driver upon arrival at the food factory. The drones will not be released simultaneously but one at a time allowing each drone to step off the monorail onto a moving walkway, again with individual places per drone. I'm not sure how the drones will be fixed in place here, but it might involve magnets, which would require everyone in the country to have metal sheeting inserted into the soles of the their feet at birth. This moving 'walkway' will carry the line of drones into the opening of the food factory and stop them in front of a computer terminus. At this juncture the drones will punch in their requirements to sustain them for another week. It will be a simple menu, with little choice, ie, wholemeal bread, multi-grain bread, kibbled bread, rye bread and fruit bread will be under the single button marked 'BREAD'. Choice confuses drones. It confuses and frightens them. The less choice the better. People operate quicker when there is less choice. So you would have a computer screen that looks something like this:
Press your buttons now!
Obviously this is still a work in progress, I feel that there may be too many meat and vegetable choices. But not to worry, the future is still ages away yet, so we've got time to work on it. The drone would have five minutes to press each button the appropriate amount of times for each product they wanted. Then they press done. After five minutes, whether the drones have finished or not the walkway will whisk them around the shop. First stop will be a machine that fits a shopping basket to the drones front, again, maybe through magnets and more invasive surgery. The computer will have worked out which drones want what from the computer terminal they were standing in front of and will stop in front of the large vending machines that make up the food factory. The food will be packaged in a similar way to this:
Om Nom Nom
Each drone will have their choices dropped into their baskets and when all have been thus served, the walkway will transport all the drones to the checkout, where a computer scanner will minus the cost of the food from the amount of work hours the drones have stored in their implanted computer chips that are stored in the frontal lobes of the the drone's brain. They earn this virtual money by spending the week working in munitions factories to feed the on going war with America. Yes, this my friends is the future of the shopping trip as we know it! Hopefully it won't be long off now!!
Keep the eating! Keep them fighting!!
I went to see Black Swan on Friday night, here is a film review ala Logan Josh:
Natalie Portman plays Nellie Deane, a country secretary who comes to the big city in search of fame, fortune and gold dust. She immediately falls in with a bad crowd at her work place and swiftly loses her job by setting off the smoke alarms with an unauthorised fireworks display in the boss' office. Losing her income means she loses her penthouse flat in the heart of the city and has to move in with her on-off boyfriend Crash Barfight (Bob Carolgees sans Spit the Dog) in the suburbs. Portman befriends the neighbour, a Mexican cleaner who doesn't speak a word of English (a beautiful portrayal by an uncredited Esther Rantzen). Portman and Rantzen embark on a series of moral crusades against the uncontrolled and illegal fishing of the River Hudson by the Mafia. The city government previously having turned a blind eye to Mafia bosses throwing grenades into the river to farm the livestock and sell the catch to nursing homes for hyper inflated prices. Portman and Rantzen change this blinkered view and also eventually win over the hearts of the mafia bosses, Portman marrying one of the 'made guys' in the process. Carolgees returns to the scene however and attempts to upset the apple cart by literally upsetting an apple cart in the street. It is his metaphor for his undying love for Portman. She realizes she married the wrong man and uses her mafia connections to have her husband killed so she can return to the arms of her former lover. They marry and live happily in Montana farming cats.
'Four Stars (out of 100)' Daily Bugle
'Weak and emasculating' Metropolis Daily
'A fine cast let down by a weak script' Gotham News
