Dad's Army

61 visitors since I posted the last entry and only 16 comments? Thank you for those that commented and fuck you for those that didn't. You shower of shit. I work my fingers to the bone writing this for nothing and you don't even bother commenting. And to answer Herr Docktor Clay, I imply you are an Evil Nazi Doctor, simply because you are an Evil Nazi Doctor.

The Evil Nazi Herr Docktor Clay explains his 'Doomsday Device MKII' to head Evil Nazis

With Brodsworth now finished for another year, I began work with Onsite again on Monday. I worked out it is almost exactly two years since I first worked for them on the Barbican site in York. All the old familiar faces were there: Lauren, Lord Sir Stanners, Alice and Wincey Willis. We are working at Nostell Priory outside Wakefield, it's Sir Stanner's country pile, he uses it as a summer house for siring himself upon the local wenches and virgins. Mind you, trying to find a virgin over the age of twelve in Wakefield is pretty tricky. He was showing me the front of the building today and I asked him which window was his bedroom, he said 'Second floor'. I asked which room on the second floor. He said 'No, all of the second floor.' In all seriousness, we were chatting about the house and Stanners said that it was too big to live in and he'd get paranoid that someone was having a party somewhere else in the house that he wouldn't be able to hear it.

Dudes! Where's the party at? No, Seriously, which room are you guys in?

In other unrelated chats, Wincey was telling us how to get a seat on a train. The method is to carry a bottle of piss with you and sprinkle it on yourself as you enter the carriage, this way no one will want to sit next to you for the duration of your journey. Whether he'd actually tried this out or not, he didn't say. Other funny things that happened over the last two days included a man with a 20 ton truck full of Aggregate who pulled up at the side of the site and asked me if we'd ordered it, I told him no, we were taking the stuff out rather than putting it back in. In sadder news I did something today that I never done in eight years of being a field archaeologist: I broke my trowel. That's right. It was a sad day for the 4" WHS that had accompanied me to Iceland. Like all archaeologists, I'm rather attached to my trowel and wept buckets for its demise. Actually, I didn't I just said some thing like 'bollocks' and used Wincey's instead.

The all new WHS 4" for excavating around corners!

Naglfar / Ragnarok

This weekend Sudoku prepared themselves for what may be our final gig in Reykjavik. After a quick practise on Friday night, at my place, we all called over to Stephan's on Saturday afternoon. He and his missus fed us lovely food and we got down to practicing only being interrupted by Stephan's daughter and her friend fighting and crying. We had a gig on Saturday night, supporting several well known Icelandic bands, Thingtak, Skorpilifur, Agent Fresco, Vicky, Bad Carburetor and What About, at the new big club Sodoma.I'd seen all of these bands before at some point. The music scene is not as big as you first imagine it to be here. We didn't go on until about three in the morning, we were the last on the line up and the place had pretty much emptied again. Mind you, the crowd was much bigger than what we normally expect and I saw at least one person dancing during the set, one other guy stood and stared in disbelief as well. We hammered our way through Ninja Porks a Babe, Ninja is for Life, Do You Wanna Get Pumped? and Das Ninja, before the club owner turned the power off on us. He threw us off stage and shut down the sound. The sound engineer was overheard saying he wanted nothing to do with it, the club owner said it wasn't fit for humans! It was brilliant! I have achieved a major goal, annoying as many people as possible with my music. My music is so bad it's offensive! One minor criticism from my point of view was that I thought we really should have practiced more. I mean, if we had we would have all been playing the same chords at the same time to the same beat, which is not really what happened during the performance.

How some viewed Saturday night's Sudoku performance

I handed my notice in today, I finish at the end of April, for a job in York after a tour round the Westfjords. The last bit of Iceland I haven't seen yet. The only downside to working in York is having to live with the abusive and alcoholic John Clay. He will also be working with me, so I expect I will be kicked up and down the site on a daily basis and then further thrashings when I get home. I know he will also make me fill in all his context sheets and do all his work for him with broken fingers. He will be too drunk by eight o'clock in the morning anyway.

John Clay, when his alcohol abuse finally catches up with him