'Yes Granddad used to tell me all about his times on the Normandy Beaches, he said he had a great time. He remembers it like it was yesterday, he told me that once those landing craft dropped their ramps, it was like a turkey shoot. Men were dropping like flies, but he kept going. The bodies were piling up and the place was like an abattoir. Finally they got on the beach and the killing continued. Yes, Granddad shot a lot of Americans from his MG42 machine gun post that day. He spent a lot of time in Argentina after the war...'
Granddad mans his post...
We have the daughter of the house owner and her partner here at the moment, they are back in York for a wedding at the weekend. They live in London, she is a Doctor and he is in 'finance'. They have that confident, affable demeanor that the rich carry around with them. He is cleaner cut than I ever manage to be, even two minutes after shaving. They are so rich that last night they put the dishwasher on after only loading two plates, two cups and two sets of cutlery into it. John and I usually load the machine over a week and are very careful when we set the thing working, due to cost of washing up tablets and liquid, not to mention the waste of water. Anything smaller than a full load we wash by hand. It also inspired a converstion in John and I about what level of richness you have to be to be able to afford an Aga. There is an Aga in this house and we figured an Aga serves as a yardstick to measure richness. If you have one, you are rich, if you 'have always wanted an Aga' you are poor. That's the law, right there.
Champagne? Check. Oysters? Check. Aga? Negative = NOT RICH
11 comments:
If you enter an aga-equipped kitchen and wish to pass yourself off as having had a comfortably middle-class upbringing, the trick is not to mention it at all. Don't even look at it. If your hosts try to draw your attention to it, make some dismissive comment like "Oh, I hadn't noticed it, yes, very nice," and go on to talk about the arts segment of last week's Newsnight, thus establishing yourself as their social superior.
Yes, but I bet your hosts will not draw your attention to their Aga in an attempt to remain YOUR social superior. This is a minefield.
True. If neither party is willing to mention the aga, the contest of social superiority must move on to a higher level.
Does the same apply for Raeburns?
What the fuck? You're discussing Aga's. Look at yourselves! What happened to the maverick, balls-to-the-wall counter-culture revolutionaries that you once were?
Agas? You pair of clowns.
Ridiculous. If you like something, you like it. If you don't like it, you don't. Why would you pretend otherwise, or not, simply to play a role within a class systemn inevitably contrived to maintain the supposed higher eshelons.
Raeburns are pretty much a grey area, but I think they come down heavily on the side with Agas. It's best not to mention it if you see one, no matter how nice you think it is or how much you want one. Just remember, maintain the facade of wealth as long as you can.
Does anybody have any ideas what the next level of Social superiority is after an Aga, or indeed a Raeburn?
What the hell is a raeburn?
John = Poor.
I was also thinking; can you imagine what damage it would do to your social standing if you complemented someone on their 'Nice Aga' when in fact, you were looking at an Raeburn. Oh the Shame.
The next level of Social superiority after an Aga is getting your face trampled into the mud by the Mob come the Revolution.
Aga's. For fuck sake...
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