Monday, 8 June 2009

Fucking Clowns

Katie began juggling mud balls on site today. Juggling is something that irks me to a fever pitch. I hate it, it is the single most inane activity that humanity has to offer. I hate the people that juggle, with their stupid 'alternative' lifestyles and their stupid Jester hats. They all drive their 2CVs to the latest 'free vegan love-in festival' in their stupid tie-dyed clothes and dungarees. With their stupid overlong beards (men) and unshaven armpits (women). All being terribly individual but looking and acting the same. It's like juggling is a sign of counter-cultural activity and to be alternative you have to learn to throw three balls up in the air without dropping them. Because that's all juggling is. The ability to not drop something. It's like people that ride unicycles, they fall into the same category. I saw some cunt outside a pub one time having to be helped onto his unicycle by his mates. It made me think: What kind of vehicle is that you have to be helped onto in order to use it? What if you were stuck somewhere where there was no one around? You'd have to walk and carry your stupid fucking unicycle with you, wouldn't you? GET A FUCKING BIKE, stop trying to show off to everyone around you that you're 'CRAZY' because you can balance on a wheel. Do you know what I'd do to jugglers and unicyclists if I was in power? I'd treat them like Vlad Dracul treated the insolent Turkish emissaries and NAIL THEIR FUCKING HATS TO THEIR HEADS!!!!



Vlad, he'd have no truck with jugglers...

I didn't have any nails to hand on site today so in spite of this I got the hose and liberally sprayed Katie with it to stop her juggling and make her work. It certainly worked a treat. It also worked on Lawrence when he was trying to flirt with Merel. It was like a cat with a spray bottle. I tell you there are far too many raging hormones on that site.

In other news, go and see Drag Me To Hell, not only has it got the beautiful Alison Lohman in it, but it is a return to form for Sam Raimi. Never mind Spiderman, this was a great horror comedy in the style of Evil Dead I & II and Army of Darkness. In fact it was so much like them I was half expecting the Lamia to start chanting 'Dead By Dawn! Dead By Dawn!!' or Bruce Campbell to apear in a cameo. Mind you, since all his superhero money old Sam seems to have forgotten poor Brucey...


Ash, he'd have no truck with the Lamia...

4 comments:

Danny said...

These could well be the rantings of a failed juggler...

Abwehrschlacht said...

I can't be a failed Juggler if I've never even tried to juggle can I? I'm sure if I ever had a desire to juggle I would be able to pick it up pretty quick because it is easy to have the ability to keep a ball in the air. No one fails at juggling, because it is easy and that is why so many people do it, but still think they are 'crazy' because they can juggle.

Arrrrgggghhhhh, now you've got me thinking about jugglers again!!!

Anonymous said...

You did get kinda scary when it came to Katie juggling...
Infact Im still having nightmares.. =S

Abi said...

John loves to juggle