A new career beckons...
I pointed this out to the Robot who conducted the interview for me and the interview went something like this:
Me: 'I have a Degree in Archaeology and eight years experience in the field. There is a recession on that is stopping me working, nothing else. I don't want to look for other work.'
Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'
Me: 'I'm not arguing with you, you're only doing your job, but the system is wrong in that it doesn't cater for people like me.'
Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'
Me: 'OK, a Steelworker who has worked in the steel mills for twenty years is in a similar position, but Thatcher made sure their industry closed down years ago whereas my profession is still going. The markets just need to pick up.'
Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'
Me: 'I'm not really getting through to you, am I?'
'I'll put you down for Warehouse work, yes? You have ten seconds to comply!'As a back up plan I told him I would be signing off in a couple of weeks anyway when the job in Thirsk starts. This tempered him a little and we compromised by only adding one more job to my list of preferred work. He did actually agree with me that the system was wrong but in order to get my benefits (which I paid taxes for in the first place...) I had to jump through the hoops. Hoops made out of dog shit and set on fire.
You want your peanuts? You'll have to dance!
We got talking about how wrong the system was and he said that Gordon Brown has plans afoot to actually move all the Benefits System online. This would mean scrapping Job Centres, turning them into flats and saving the government a fortune being free of their upkeep and the staff. So in cruel twist of fate it looks like he'll be the one out of work and looking for a place in a warehouse.
13 comments:
I'm not sure I agree with this post. Are you saying that because you have qualifications and experience, then you should be completely exempt from Benefits policy?
That whilst all the other scrubbers are being prodded about from interview to interview, and being told to widen their searches for employment, that you should be allowed to glide across the floor of the Jobcentre like a Swan, oblivious and unaffected?
If ANYBODY has been signing on for a length of time, then the Jobcentre SHOULD be advising people to broaden their searches and look for other types of work, if only on a temporary basis until their preferred choice of work comes round.
What's wrong with that?
God, I wish I was Prime Minister.
To put the entire benefit system online would require life long frequenters of the job centre to learn to use their computers for something other than porn. And the ones who can't use computers at all would be even more fucked than they currently are! I sense that a helpline would have to be set up which people in true dire straits could not afford to use...Mind you, it would save people who did understand these things from ever leaving Jeremy Kyle unattended to sign on and make it far easier to sign on as your dead uncle as his corpse rotted beside you cos no body ever had to see him in person...Push ahead Gordon Brown or the evil tory sucessors or whichever shower this country of morons elects (or doesn't elect through voter apathy/ having no cunt to vote for).
Also Danny has a good point. Cos I'd quit my job for further training I wasn't even granted the 3 months to look for something else. MAybe if you'd move you'd find work. South-east is BUSY!
No you fucktard, that's not what I'm saying. I am saying I don't believe the Job Centre has the right to dictate to me which way my career path should go. I am an archaeologist, I trained as an archaeologist, I have worked for nearly tens years as an archaeologist. What if they got me a job in 'retail', which I am totally unsuited for, and as a consequnece I missed an opportunity for an archaeological job? My situation was ONLY temporary, I knew a change would come. Scrubbers are told to widen their job searches because they refuse to get any job. I am activly seeking work in a particular niche. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a niche I have not only proved my worth in, but have very strong connections within and know far better than anyone at the Job Centre as I have been told continually it will be difficult to get work as an archaeologist. The only difficulty is the recession and even that has now been overcome. The system only caters for people with no skills and people who don't want to work.
I have already been punished for actually getting off my arse and getting work the other week. The amount of hassle it has caused by declaring it showed me I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I still have not been paid this week benefits as they are waiting for the information to get back to them, you will recall this was the same information which that fucktard filled in and was wrong.
Never declare your earnings! that's the kind of thing I would do. Honesty never pays. EVER. Apart from that one time I got a tenner for finding someones solid gold bracelet tat was worth way more in gold value...ahh, hang on now...ah. No it never pays to be honest. Unless there's an afterlife, or Karma. Which I doubt...
I know what Alex means
I was in a similar position some years back. For 3 months the job centre politely looked the other way when I went to sign on. All my expectations about how much in a salary I was look for were agreed.
Then the 3 months deadline hit. No longer was I being "realistic" in my expectations of finding work in my chosen profession. Nor were my salary expectations any longer deemed appropriate. I too was in the running to start doing jobs beneath me that would bring in next to no money and mean I'd have lost my flat as I wouldn't have been able to afford the mortgage.
Luckily Heather and mine's plan to buy houses when they were cheap and sell when they were high panned out at just the right time and so I stuck two fingers up to the job centre and walked into the sunset (or Devon, if you prefer).
Alex is just a statistic to them they just don't care. And what's worse is that they are fucking up his future prospects too. Making him do something like stacking shelves is going to look fantastic on his CV....
"So Alex, what have you been doing for the last year?"
"I stacked pallets in Netto".
Instead of chasing people like Alex, what about those lazy cunts who have never worked? If they can find crap jobs for Alex shouldn't they being giving those to the work shy and letting Alex have time to work out what to do. After all, Alex has paid his taxes and is simply claiming what is rightfully his.
When everything picks up again Alex will be back paying taxes. The benefits system is there for people like Alex, not the increasingly lazy twats that don't want to work at all!
I had to go to a job centre group talk thing once. They were nice although I was disappointed that we were not offered a cup of tea.
Sinatra is a gangster film.
Darren....what if you had found yourself unemployed in a society where there were no free handouts, and everyone had to fend for themselves? It's not that hard to imagine.
Would you still have sat on your arse for three months and said "Oh, I refuse to do a job that's beneath me, I think I'll just let myself and my family slowly starve to death instead, you'll not catch me stacking shelves, no thank you very much, that's not for me!"
Or would you have made every effort to secure a crap job in order to survive until you found a more suitable one?
I once stacked shelves in Tesco for about four months until a better job came along. It didn't kill me. It wasn't that bad. It paid my rent.
I really think that people take the dole for granted these days. At the end of the day, I think it's a massive luxury to be given three whole months to sort yourself out at the taxpayer's expense, before they start applying a bit of pressure on you.
People should be bloody grateful for it!
Danny...I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that I really do love you and that you are one of the best friends I have ever had. However...I have to be honest and tell you that you have recently been getting on my tits a little with this hi-brow working man tax payer crap.
I have for most of my adult life been in employment. Indeed the longest I have ever spent on the dole was 18 months and that was way back in the day when I had just discovered LSD and yes I admit it, I didn't want to work. Sound familiar Danny? Didn't you used to be just the same at one time? Please enlighten us and tell us how long you spent on the dole during the 90's. I didn't know you back then Danny so I'm hoping that you're going to proove me wrong and say that you didn't spend much time on the dole.
Back in the early 90's I was actually the first one out of our little bunch to get a full time job. And even that was after taking on numerous temporary positions. After gaining employment I never ever criticised or looked down on the people who were still on benefits. I'm not going to mention any names but some of my friends didn't work for years. They were too interested in taking it easy and smoking dope. I never ever resented them for it. Since I myself had already spent 18 months on the dole getting stoned and and tripping at the weekends I wasn't going to get all high and mighty just because I'd finally changed my ways. After all wouldn't that make me a hypocrite?
Has it happens my nameless friends have since changed their ways too and have done really well for themselves. Good for them.
It's unfortunate that now that after all these years I am unemployed again. And so it seems is Alex. We are both professionals in our own field. Sharp contrast to the way we all used to be back in the day. I'm guessing that you too Danny were an unemployed druggie layabout same as the rest of us. How long for is what I want to know. Go on...proove me wrong.
Whilst I don't think that anyone should be allowed to spend their entire lives spongeing off the social when they are capable of work I am reluctant to criticise these people too much when I remember the fact that I too was once an unemployed trip head. When luck eventually comes my way and I once again find myself in employment, one thing I will not allow myself to do is criticise the unemployed who are actually seeking work. This, as far as I'm concerned, would make me more than just hypocritical. So what if I have to pay taxes to help other people.It's something I've never resented in the past and will never resent in the future.
I like the bit where you had to jump through hoops of flaming dog shit.
Danny I would love to live in a "society where there were no free handouts, and everyone had to fend for themselves"
But I spent years paying taxes to prop up (mainly lazy cunts). When I was made unemployed we had high employment levels. However, being quite on the ball I didn't particularly want to work in my then job for the rest of my life forever and had already put the wheels in motion to insure I didn't. Come on - who hear really enjoys their full time job? Seriously? For me it was a way to pay the bills and gave me money to do the things I wanted to in my free time.
I worked like a pig and paid a fortune in taxes. My dad then ran a post office and would tell me of the numerous lazy cunts who would walk into his post office and withdraw money each week than I earned. (invalidty this, depression that and soooo many kids). The benefits system is there for people like Alex, Archer and the increasing nnumber of unemployed that have lost their jobs because we have a government who has no idea how to keep industry in this country. Seriously - I've got a load of tales I could tell you from heads of industry who (this is going back to 2002) were just worried that manufacturing in this country was grinding to a halt because the government couldn't care. Instead of helping to grow manufacturing they were crippling it with high taxes so the only thing they could do was mover overseas (the far east) where it was cheaper. What is wrong in this country where it's cheaper to make a product overseas and then ship it back to this country.
Any way... off topic there a bit... but basically I wasn't sat on my arse for three weeks. I'd paid got mortgage protection on my flat (so that was coming in) and I felt I had a right to the benefits money - I paid taxes for years so why shouldn't I? It's not a case of sitting on your arse, it's a serious case of thinking about yourself. Seriously would you, Danny, if you were made redundant tomorrow go and work in McDonalds immediately (they're always in need of staff). I bet in all honesty you wouldn't. Because a)you wouldn't be able to afford your mortgage any more (well once the interest rates settle back to a realistic level you wouldn't) and b) If you are stuck doing that for several years (it's kind of hard to go to job interviews when you've got a job without raising suspision) are you going to admit that you've worked in McDonalds for the last few years? Would your employer think "Good for him?" or "I don't want this Fucktard working here!"
It seems to come down to Danny not being able to seperate Alex or Archer from those twats that have time to appear on Jeremy Kyle. There are levels of unemployment and Alex is at the very bottom of the scale of people I'd start criticising.
This is too fucking heavy - and dull
Visit http://www.thenewpyloncafe.com for some Alex bashing - it's much more fun.
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