Sunday, 25 September 2011

Brum Brum!

I got back late last night from Birmingham and my first two days as a student at the University there. I'm starting an MA in British First World War studies and Friday and Saturday were the induction days to both the College of Arts and Law and the War Studies Department. I had been told I had to attend both days and duly bought a train ticket and booked a hotel which cost the better part of £100. This had better be good, thought I. I set off at the crack of sparrows on Friday to get to the college induction at 9.00am. I needn't have bothered to be honest. It basically consisted of several introductory talks about the college and about how great we all are and how we hold the future in our hands. As an archaeologist, I am generally holding the past in my hands, but whatevs. We were also introduced to our student reps and careers people. It was more for undergraduates going straight into an MA than people who have actually spent some time in the real world working. We were then taken on a tour of the campus by a woman who no one could hear and who seemed to have no idea what anything was or had never been in any of the buildings she was pointing out to us. I did notice with glee that there was a clock tower on campus. I only need to buy a rifle and wait for graduation day so I can start doing a Charles Whitman.


Just you wait, you cunts'll get what's coming to you...

The best thing about this introduction was when I was sat waiting for the presentations to start some guy came and took the seat next to me and said 'hey, cool shirt'. He was referring to my BURZUM hoodie, we got talking about BURZUM and what he called aggressive music. The guy was from Chicago and turns out he used to be in a punk band called The Muslims, who had to change their name to The Slims for commercial reasons. Anyway, this discussion was probably the best thing that happened during that morning, so when the tour was over I fucked off to find my hotel and have a look around Birmingham (more of this amazing trip later...). The next day was the departmental induction and we had a full day of lectures. I arrived early to try to find some breakfast, but with the entire campus shut except Spar I had to go hungry. As I was wandering in search of vittles I played 'spot the War Studies student'. When we were all in the lecture room I noticed that I was correct with everyone I spotted... There is a certain demographic in the War Studies department and it certainly isn't slim pretty eighteen year old girls. The rest of the day was spent listening in awe to military history lectures, until the final part when we were taken down to the archives and saw such treasures as I never knew existed. First off there was a 1915 dated manual of British Shell types, a 1916 dated Lewis Gun Manual. It got better, they had Neville Chamberlain's personal copy of Mein Kampf, with a little dedication written by Nev himself. There was a stack of the English version of Mein Kampf in magazine form. Dutch copies of Signal Magazine. They even had Oswald Mosley's personal scrapbook of all his public appearances. It was a Fascist's wet dream! I wasn't allowed to take photos, so you'll have to make do with this picture of Natalie Imbruglia instead:


But, I hear you ask, what did I do with my Friday afternoon? Well, settle down and I'll tell you. I walked into the city centre to have a look-see at Birmingham. I've been through Brum a few times, but never really stopped so I thought I'd have a wander around. Also, a conversation I'd had with Becki at work inspired me to try to find the aquarium. I finally stumbled upon the Sea Life Centre and approached the desk. I asked the guy selling tickets how much it was, he told me £18 for an adult. I took a step back and composed myself. I asked how much with a student discount. He told me £15. I picked myself off the floor and asked him if it was worth it. He said yes, but I glanced over his shoulder and realised that because Birmingham is land locked they have no idea how to look after fish. There were cages piled on top of one another with fish flapping about in their death throes. It appeared to be feeding time as workers were pouring fresh Haribo on top of uneaten Haribo in feeding tubes on the sides of the cages. They kept shouting at the fish 'You'd better eat this, there's nothing else!' I decided the price was too high to watch fish slowly dying and took my leave.


WE NEED MORE HARIBO!!!

Jesus, I'm glad I did, because as I was walking through town I passed the Art Gallery and saw that they were housing the Staffordshire Hoard, but even better than that it was the last weekend of the HOME OF METAL exhibition! I'd completely forgotten it was on and I ran in as fast as my little legs could carry me. Here are pictures, I'm sorry about the quality but my phone camera is and the venue was dark:


Geezer Butler's favourite!


40,000 gram Sabbath vinyl!


Which one's Pink?


#22: Robert Plant buys a Laney Amp in March 1968...


I would have given my first born to have seen this gig...


Or this one...


Or any of these...


The Gods Made Heavy Metal: Tony Iommi's Laney stack and SG. Literally, cum in my pants.


CLASS WAR NOW!!!


Shane Embury's personal Napalm Death cassettes...


Pre-print mock up of Scum album


Oh God! It's Brian Tatler's guitar!!!!


A letter from Lars Ulrich to Brian Tatler from about 1982!!


The Blizzard of Shit...


Original Napalm Death rehearsal recordings...


This has to rank as one of the best live photos ever, Napalm Death at the Mermaid 1988


The King is commemorated by the city of Brimingham!

Also in the gallery I sat in awe in front of a Botticelli, then found my way to an Indian restaurant and woke up the next morning with a jelly botty. BOOM BOOM!!

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Jelly botty, funny

Darren Rea said...

The funniest and most informative Blog posting to date - keep it up sir. Mind you, I've been tripping off my tits on acid all day!

Anonymous said...

Interesting blog as usual. The Metal exhibition thing sounds pretty droll, but fair play they give metal some recognition. Did they have much Priest memorabilia, or was it all the usual Sabbath hype? Also, what is so special about Napalm Death in our great history of metal?

Abwehrschlacht said...

Ta, yeah there was tons of Priest memorabilia as well, but I'm a bigger fan of Sabbath, hence the bias in the photos. Napalm Death are incredibly important in the development of not only Grindcore but Death Metal and the cross over of punk and metal. They were one of the first bands to brdige that gap. If you know ANYTHING about metal then you should be able to recognise ND's standing in whole thing.