Asum Ok Alfum Maer...

After a rather lazy Sunday afternoon during which I did nothing of any particular note, we decided as a household to go and see the latest James Bond offering. I was struggling through a post-alcohol haze to work out which cinema was closest to us and what time the film was showing. I tell you, there is something to be said for user-friendly websites... Anyhoo, Roz worked out that the film was showing at 8.00, so we all set off about ten to eight after shouting at Jo for ten minutes to get out of her room and get her coat on. A short walk later we arrived at the Haskolabio cinema just before eight to be told the film wasn't actually on until half past. For some fucking reason I got the blame for this cock up, not Roz, who had told us it was on at 8.00. On the way over I was giving my reasoned arguments as to why I don't like people eating in cinemas. For one reason it is a base and course thing to stuff sugary treats into your gob whilst making more noise than downtown Baghdad during 'Suicide Week'. I hate it. I told the others I hate it, whereupon Roz bought the biggest bag of popcorn she could find. Even though Duncan had tipped half the contents on the floor in the foyer, he still managed to eat the fucking stuff through half of the film. It was like sitting next to the chimps tea party in the zoo. I would have missed vital plot lines had there been any with all the noise he was making. To add insult to injury, even though the door to the cinema was open we all sat in the foyer until about half past. Upon entering the theater we found all the seats taken except for the four on the front left left that faced the wall. In our prime position we settled in to digest two hours of complete bollocks.

Alright, Quantum of Solace had a few good moments, like the end credits for instance, but overall it was complete shite. It was a very poor: It was confused, convoluted and corny. I'm not one who is easily impressed by explosions and gunfire. Mind you, I'm not fifteen anymore. Italy looked beautiful during the first scenes. That is about the only thing I can take away from Bond movies, the stunning scenery. Don't go and see it, you'll only be wasting your time.

Monday and Tuesday both passed without incident, except for cookie baking on Monday night. Jo had decided it was time for some home baking and set about making cookie dough for us all to play with. I made a cookie cock, which Jo promptly stabbed with a knife and called me a horrible boy, so instead I made a cookie cunt. This survived the night of the long knives, so did the Thor's Hammer, the Star Destroyer, the Crucifix, the Hammer and Sickle and the Swastika. Jo made me a ladies face to eat as well. They were lovely, especially the ladies face, which I took great delight in eating, just like Jack the Ripper.

This morning, Wednesday, I felt like shit when I awoke, I'd had really violent dreams on Monday night which stopped me sleeping, this occurred again on Tuesday night. The lack of sleep, not the dreams. So I was pretty under the weather and decided not to go into work. I had a long sleep and felt a lot better, so I cleaned the house and finished my book, which was about First World War Aviators. I got it for my birthday last year, which is on the 14th of July, in case you'd forgotten. The book was good, despite the vast amount of typos in it. I'm not a proof reader but it was getting embarrassing with the amount of mistakes made in each chapter.