Sunday 19 April 2009

Lyktemenn

A quick review of my weekend, Friday, I found a spindle whorl on site, covered in runes, which makes this last eight months seem somehow worth it..., then films and drink, Saturday morning breakfast and arguments with Jo, record buying, films, half a bottle of vodka and town til six, Sunday recovering from said bottle of Vodka and Town.

Again since being out of contact with the real world via the Internet I have had to turn to other forms of entertainment to see me through this week. I have been watching a load of films to fill up the gaps between work, so this entry is going to be a film review rather than anything else, you may want to skip to the end as it gets a bit ranty... I was planning on going out on Friday night but instead I found myself watching the 2008 German film The Red Baron. I may have mentioned my passing interest in First World War aviation, so I have been wanting to see this film ever since it came out and I was quite excited to see a film about the highest scoring Air Ace of the war, Manfred Von Richtofen. In the event it would have been better that I gouged out my eyes with a spoon and vomited on a pile of shit, then attempted to stare at it through my empty eye sockets. I'm a stickler for historical accuracy in films. The Red Baron was littered with badly researched nonsense. Starting with the planes themselves, we see Lanoe Hawker VC flying an SE5a during a dogfight. The SE5a was not in operation until 1917, a year after Hawker was killed. Hawker, if you bothered to read that Wikipedia article was in a DH2 when he was killed by Richtofen. Lets do a little test. Spot the difference in the following pictures:



Yes, that's right, the top one is a DH2, the bottom one is an SE5a. You will notice a few, albeit subtle, differences between them. One has a Rotary engine, the other an inline engine. One has a maximum speed of 93mph, the other 138mph. One has a service ceiling of 17,000 ft, the other 14,000 ft. Oh yeah; ONE OF THEM HAS IT'S FUCKING COCKPIT STICKING OUT IN FRONT OF THE WINGS. A completely different airframe layout that is not easy to miss. Unless you work in the Research Department of Niama Film.


Another picture of an SE5a and and DH2, I may send this one to Niama film company

With the power of the Internet at our fingertips isn't it easy to find out what kind of plane Hawker was flying? It tells you half way down his entry on Wikipedia for Christ's sake. You would think that with all the effort that goes into producing the CGI for a film like this then they could spare a little more to find out what crates people were whizzing around in at the time.

Alright, I'm probably being pedantic and the difference in planes in film doesn't amount to a hill of spit for most viewers, but there are people like me who have a little knowledge about the subject matter. And one has to assume that these are the kind of people the film is directed at. But furthering this problem, the film is so bad that these mistakes become glaring anomalies, a film about First World War aviation that features about three minutes of actual flying sequences? We see mock ups (as good as they are) of period planes taxiing after a mission, where dogfights are discussed but we don't get to see them. Why not? Surely this is one of the main reasons I'm watching this film? Did the budget run out after making several expensive mock ups of the planes that were used for ground shots only? Did the researchers realise that they had the wrong planes at the wrong times so cut down the sequences in an attempt to try to make people like me not notice? We will never know.

One further point that really irked me, and harks back to The Unforgiven, was the inclusion of a fictitious Jewish character
(Friedrich Sternberg). This political correctness gone mad. It is the German film industry's answer to Hollywood's ubiquitous Black Character. Let me clear one thing up, I am not racist, I abore it, like most normal thinking people. It repulses and horrifies me. But worse is when political correctness is rammed down our throats as though we are stupid and need to be educated in how 'everyone is different, but at heart we're all the same'. I know Jewish people fought in the German army during the Great War, I also know the political difference between Germany in 1914 and Germany in 1939. Please grant me with a little intelligence about the subject matter of the film I am watching. It annoys me because there is no need for this character in Richtofen's story, he adds nothing besides the other characters casually mentioning he is Jewish and him painting a Star of David on his plane.


Niama Films have begun filming their latest latest war epic, entitled 'Hitler, What a Bad Man!', this production still shows Adolf's politically correct personal SS Bodyguard

Speaking of racism, for those of you who still don't believe me that John Clay is the embodiment of Evil, take a look at these recent postings from his blog. This one show early sociopathic tendencies already inherent in the young Clay. Here he betrays his Christian Zealotry. It gets worse as he gets older with his attempts at creating his own Mein Kampf. I am fully expecting this Man Trap to be in place when I arrive at his house in York in a month. My days are filled with dread for the time where I will again be subjected to his cruel and unusual torture methods.



John Clay relaxes at home