This little beauty sits on the edge of a duel carriageway, there are frequent pile ups outside the house due to the distracting nature of the lights. You will notice a few features, one of which is the parachuting Santa on the wall. This is a now common theme of Christ's Mess light displays. When I was a child Saint Nick moved around the world in a reindeer pulled sleigh. This, it seems, has been superseded by a winter paramilitary operation not unsimilar to the French Foreign Legion paratroops dropping on Dien Bien Phu. A fully armed Father Christmas smashes into your rooftop throwing stun grenades to keep the children subdued whilst he distributes presents and drinks the sherry left out for him the previous night.
I apologise for the blurred nature of this photo, but when I lifted the viewfinder to my face the blinking lights gave me an epileptic fit like when playing on a Nintendo for too long. When I came to, the sun had risen and I couldn't get another photo of the GLORY OF CHRIST'S BIRTH DEMONSTRATED THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF GLARING LIGHT. You can just see it, but this one has several figures in the garden; angels and Santa's parade around and stand to attention like some winter themed dwarf Nuremberg Rally. The light from this display was so bright and focused that it actually burnt a scar onto the face of the moon when it was first turned on.
There is always one that outshines the rest, please, don't excuse the pun, and this one is it. Not only is the house bedecked with intense lights, but they have spilled out onto the roof of the garage. Every available spot is taken up by a glittering display of non-existent wealth. This display burns brighter than Betelgeuse and is now classified as a Class O stellar body. No human eye can withstand the intensity of the light. Even standing within 100 yards of this house can result in massive tissue damage through third degree burns.
This is the kind of Christmas Light Display I like...
It's also this time of year that we get the hackneyed literature themed Great War Christmas truce stories wheeled out. My friend sent me the following passage from a memoir he'd just finished reading, the date for 25th Dec. 1914 reads like this:
'We awoke to the sounds of carols coming from the German trenches, we recognised Silent Night, and we were reminded of the day as the songs drifted across the cold fields. The Hun shouted to us, 'Hey Tommy, sing with us!' Of course, they shot the bloody hell out of us the day before, so our boys replied with a heavy barrage of rifle fire. Hostilities continued for the rest of the day.'
Happy Christ's Mess
