Monday 17 May 2010

They're in the Fucking Walls!

The Ukrainian butchers made it to the UK on Friday night, tormented by visas and volcanic ash they finally touched English ground, Terra Britannia, if you will. Despite weeks of Lauren and I working ourselves into a frenzy about possible gang rape and robbery they are both (there's only two of them at the moment) really nice lads. They are clean, polite, funny and generous, especially with the Russian Vodka they brought over with them. They fed Steve and Lauren full of it on Friday night and then on Saturday night three of their friends came over and preceded to fill me full of freshly caught fried pike, Ukrainian sausage and the aforementioned Vodka. And whiskey. Lots of Vodka and Whiskey. So much so I couldn't see properly but I'm pretty sure the night ended up with Balalaika recitals and traditional Russian bear dancing. There may have even been some firing off of AK47s in the back garden...


The Evil Dr Clay also turned up this weekend, in his usual manner of not taking other people's feelings into account he turned up at about 6.30 AM on a Saturday. Immediately he stamped his authority on the house by knifing one of the Ukrainians. He then forced me at dagger point to go and see Four Lions with him on Sunday, it's a great film that puts the Fun back into Fundamentalism. Go see it.



Today was the first day back at Heslington working for York University, we set off in Clay's car since mine was off the road having some medicine to make its tummy all better. This is how the journey goes from the house, or how the journey should go from the house: Two minutes up Tang Hall Lane to the A1079 Hull Road, get onto the roundabout at the A64, but come all the way round back onto the A1079, turn left onto the site entrance, all in all a fifteen minute journey if the lights are against us. This is how Clay delivered us: up Tang Hall Lane onto the A1079, get onto the roundabout, get off the roundabout on the A64 on the way to FUCKING LEEDS! Travel halfway to FUCKING LEEDS before turning round and heading back to the A1079 and site about six hours after setting off. An illustrious start it was not and I shall be driving us to work from now on. On site the students were alright, not that I can tell, they all look the same to me, there were some new faces and some old ones. Including this man in this incredibly rare shot:


On your knees Nicky!