Back to Part Two of a tour around Rotherham (find part one HERE), the fine homestead nestling in the bosom of the Rother Valley. Home to a quarter of a million souls, it was founded in the Early Medieval Period and grew around a spot where a Roman Road crossed the River Don. After the Norman Conquest, Rotherham was placed under the protection of the lord Nigel Fossard and his successor De Vesci. Both of these obviously knew the town's reputation and rarely if ever actually visited the place. Canny fellows, them both.
'Horse for sale! Get your lovely Horse here! Come on love, you need a horse in your life!'This etching depicts Rotherham in its Late Medieval Period hey-day, replete with market square and cross post. The hustle and bustle of the three annual fairs and the Monday and Friday markets of yore would have given the centre a real busy and thriving market town feel. Come with me gentle reader as we take a walk through the civic centre of the today and see what it has to offer the Oniomanic day tripper, intent on quickly separating their foolishness and their money. Onwards to the hub of the shopping experience; College Street!:
Empty lots, boarded up buildings, but at least B&M Bargains is thriving!
Here we can choose from an exciting range of one shopping experience. B&M Bargains, the store that sells practically EVERYTHING. Just like a Dole scroungers Harrods. What need has Rotherham for other outlets when we have the almighty B&M? The boarded up shop to the right of B&M was the town's only Marks & Spencer. This has now been closed for several years when it was realised that the people of the town were unable to afford the Dine In for £10 offers. Well, with only £64 a week from the Dole, you would struggle too! We turn away from the delight of College Street and seek out further shopportunities on High Street:
It was a sad day indeed when Sofa Craft had to close
Struggling to find anywhere to part with our hard signed for cash, we walk up and down High Street seeking out an emporium that will pander to our fevered need for retail therapy:
Even help from the Heritage Lottery Fund failed to keep this place open...
Whilst we pace fervidly up and down High Street on the lookout for an open boutique, or eyes fall upon the oldest building in Rotherham:
Formerly the Three Cranes Inn, this timber framed building from the 15th century is the only one of it's kind in the town. It survived a Civil War and Two World Wars only to be left to slowly rot away by a Town Council filled with THICK AS SHIT EX-STEELWORKERS WHO KNOW NOTHING OF CULTURE OR HISTORICAL IMPORTANCE. Sadly we leave High Street, seeking out pastures new, wending our way through delightful hidden and secret meandering passageways:
We eventually find ourselves in All Saint's Square. At last! Shops that are open! This is beyond our wildest dreams!:
There is an oxymoron somewhere in this photo, but I'm damned if I can find it... We are taught healthy cooking by non-other than TV's Jamie Oliver then stuff ourselves stupid with chocolate next door at Thornton's. Sitting on a bench in the middle of the square we are at once delighted and overcome by the spectacle of the TELLY ON A STICK:
Someone had lost the instruction manual and no-one could work out where the 'on' switch was...One of the greatest acheivements of Rotherham Town Council. The £150,000 White Elephant topping to their cake of Civic Centre destruction. Recently the council have decided to pull the plug (pun intended) on the Telly On A Stick in order to save money on it's upkeep. It struck me, they could have saved a whole load more money if they'd NEVER BUILT THE FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE! But what do I know? I'm no fiscal expert. The Council were put in their positions because they know what they are doing? Right?
Still to come; how Rotherham celebrates its town heroes, further pictures of crumbling important historical buildings, a tour around the sleazier side of town, further council folly and a night out in Rotherham...
