Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

I went to the Job Centre today for my three month 'review'. This is the point in the life of the unemployed that the Job Centre decide that you aren't doing enough to get work so they force a change of career on you. You are allowed three months grace to find work in one single preferred job, at this review they make you widen your search to include two further possibilities. If like me, you are a trained professional, weathering the storm of the recession, there is no hope. You are treated like all the rest of the unemployed scum. There are no concessions for people trying to do the job they are trained for. If they had their way, my eight year career would end today and I could look forward to a sparkling new career moving pallets around in a warehouse. There's always work in Warehouses.

A new career beckons...

I pointed this out to the Robot who conducted the interview for me and the interview went something like this:

Me: 'I have a Degree in Archaeology and eight years experience in the field. There is a recession on that is stopping me working, nothing else. I don't want to look for other work.'

Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'

Me: 'I'm not arguing with you, you're only doing your job, but the system is wrong in that it doesn't cater for people like me.'

Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'

Me: 'OK, a Steelworker who has worked in the steel mills for twenty years is in a similar position, but Thatcher made sure their industry closed down years ago whereas my profession is still going. The markets just need to pick up.'

Him: 'I AM A ROBOT'

Me: 'I'm not really getting through to you, am I?'

'I'll put you down for Warehouse work, yes? You have ten seconds to comply!'

As a back up plan I told him I would be signing off in a couple of weeks anyway when the job in Thirsk starts. This tempered him a little and we compromised by only adding one more job to my list of preferred work. He did actually agree with me that the system was wrong but in order to get my benefits (which I paid taxes for in the first place...) I had to jump through the hoops. Hoops made out of dog shit and set on fire.

You want your peanuts? You'll have to dance!

We got talking about how wrong the system was and he said that Gordon Brown has plans afoot to actually move all the Benefits System online. This would mean scrapping Job Centres, turning them into flats and saving the government a fortune being free of their upkeep and the staff. So in cruel twist of fate it looks like he'll be the one out of work and looking for a place in a warehouse.