Is there anybody out there?
I first heard of this job through Gigi, our 'team leader'. Gigi is short for Luigi, yes he's Italian, but this didn't stop me thinking he would be like his name sake, GG Allin and would be running around the site in the nude, doing a shit, then eating some of it and assaulting the rest of the staff. It turns out I was wrong. He's nothing like GG Allin. He has never been to prison, eaten human faeces or even played in a band. I'm not going to say I'm not disappointed, but I'm also glad I wasn't raped.
This has yet to happen...
The first morning consisted of watching two Safety Videos provided by Tarmac. The first one, Ten Golden Rules, taught me the right and wrong way of repairing a hydraulic pressure hose, piped to a breaker. It also taught me the right and wrong way of fixing a 40,000 volt industrial generator. So if you have any problem with either of those, let me know. The second video, 'Once Too Often Dave', was a cautionary tale with all the gravitas of an auteur movement film. It even had a twist at the end that would make M. Night Shyamalan reassess his career. I suggest you hire both of them from your local video store.
Don't do a Goddamned thing until you've learned this book by heart...
Out on site, there appeared to be something funny going on that I can't quite fathom out. On the Western edge of the site is a large artificial lake. It appears that the spoil that is being stripped from where we are working is being bulldozed into the lake on its western edge. The dumpers go back and forth carrying the spoil and a bulldozer spends all day pushing the stuff into the lake. Now, on the other side of the lake, the eastern shore, a massive 360 machine with an extra long arm is busy digging out the shoreline and dumping the spoil on the dry land. On one shoreline is a machine busily filling in the lake, whilst on the opposite shore line a machine busily enlarges the edge. It would appear that between them they are gradually moving the lake east, UP the field. I'm not sure if it is one big practical joke on Tarmac instigated by the machine drivers.
'Is it me, or has that lake moved?'
Speaking of machine drivers, one of them (we call him Wavey Davey) appears to have a slate loose. He drives one of the massive dumper trucks up and down all day and the repetitive nature of his work seems to have affected his head. Every time he goes past he gives me the 'thumbs up' sign or waves. Not wishing to seem a cunt I return the gesture. He goes past me about twenty times a day. That's about forty 'thumbs up', as he does it on the return journey as well. Now this is getting out of hand already, as it interrupts what I'm doing I am losing working hours giving him the 'thumbs up'. I need to break the cycle but have no idea how to. Basically I'm trapped in 'thumbs up' Hell. I don't want him to go past me giving me the 'thumbs up' and not get one in return and then think I'm a cunt. He's a big man (I think they built the dumper cabin around him...) and I don't want our already tenuous relationship to turn sour. How do I get out of this? He seems like a decent chap with what I know of him, that is, he waves at me. Surely people who wave are nice people? Like this guy:
'Hello everyone! Hiya!!'
He must be nice, look all these people are waving back at him:
I don't even know how myself and the driver have got into such a situation. Maybe it's because he heard we have women on site. Maybe he thinks he'll impress them by waving at them. Maybe he's mistook me for a women since we all are wearing bulky high visibility clothing that makes it impossible to determine gender from a distance. Maybe he thinks he's got a chance with me because I keep waving back. Maybe I'll have a hot date this weekend. A girl can only hope...
