No-No Square

And another song by the talented Mr Landels.


Chester and the No-No Square
(To the tune of: Call me Maybe, Carly Rae Jepsen, 2012.)

I was attracted to you
When we were bailing B2,
Our love of graveyarding grew
Out in the bucket line.
You told me Shrek was your pal
And I was your kinda gal',
You helped me up when I fell
And then it was break time...

And soon tea was flowing,
Cattle eyes following,
Rape alarms were going,
I just had to tell you... 

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy...
But that square's No-No! 
So please don't rape me! 
I mighta led you on, when I said 'Take me...'
But that square's No-No! 
So please don't rape me!

Before you came into my life
It was okay, Yes it was okay,
But it was just okay...
Now you've got kind of creepy
And your bucket, it's leaky
So I say 'No way!'
Yes I say 'No, no way!

You said Chester was your name
And molesting was your game
I thought a joke was to blame,
But now I'm not so sure!
When you invaded my porch
Only wearing a headtorch
And said you'd soon make me scorch
I knew you weren't so pure...

Wild shapes you were throwing,
Your eyes - they were glowing,
Rape alarms were going,
I just had to tell you...

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy...
But that square's No-No!
So please don't rape me!
I mighta led you on, when I said 'Take me...'
But that square's No-No!
So please don't rape me!

Before you came into my life
It was okay,
Yes it was okay,
But it was just okay...
Now you've got kind of creepy
And your bucket, it's leaky
So I say 'No way!'
Yes I say 'No, no way!

A Song for Europe

Until I can be bothered to write a post about my time on the Isle of Man, here is a song about it:

Ballacagen Excavation 2012 Song

by Gerard Landels

(To the tune of: Piano Man, Billy Joel: 1973.)

It's half past six on a Sunday,
So a new breakfast crew shuffles in.
They were all out quite late,
The mess tent is a state:
It seems no cleaning fairy has been.
James screams, 'Wake up archaeologists,
As the time has rolled over to eight!
And you'll clean out the dregs
Or knock in new tent pegs
If you finish your breakfast too late!'

He goes, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah...
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah...'

Sing us a song 'cause it's raining,
 Sing to us now, we're in pain.
Well our spirits are sunk,
'Cause this new pump is junk,
 And we just can't face bailing again!
It goes on and on,
 Yes, it goes on...
 And we're getting fed up of it now!

Well Rachel, she's keen on her features.
She loves them if the truth be known,
And she's made up her mind
That she doesn't like finds,
Because every third one is a stone!
In truth she's a pretty good teacher
Cause her students all feel they belong,
But she's sure to get tetchy
If your shovelin's sketchy
Or if you get anything wrong...

She'll go, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah...
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah...'

Sing us a song 'cause it's raining,
Sing to us now, we're in pain.
Well our spirits are sunk,
'Cause this new pump is junk,
And we just can't face bailing again!
It goes on and on,
Yes, it goes on...
And we're really fed up_ of it now!

Now Alex came over especially,
He's a grumpy old man with no friends.
But he does like his booze,
And looking for his shoes-
Yes he follows clue trails to their ends.
And if ever a pump should look broken,
Well he'll stand and look at it all day,
Else he's down the urinal
Just thinking 'bout vinyl
And pissing his troubles away!

He goes, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah...
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah...'
(The rest I can't repeat!)

Sing us a song 'cause it's raining,
Sing to us now, we're in pain.
Well our spirits are sunk,
'Cause this new pump is junk,
And we just can't face bailing again!
It goes on and on,
Yes, it goes on...
And we've just had enough_ of it now!

Well Harold's the man with the master plan,
For him I have nothing but praise.
He's no time for the Sith
Or that common-held myth
That a groundwater level might raise!
He spends time on the site pretty sparingly
And never cleans his spoil away,
But he must be quite bright
Because when he's on site,
Well... He's not short of something to say!

He goes, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah...
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah...
(Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...)'

Sing us a song 'cause it's raining,
Sing to us now, we're in pain.
Well our spirits are sunk,
'Cause this new pump is junk,
And we just can't face bailing again!
It goes on and on,
Yes, it goes on...
Until we can all go back home!